Army of Geekness

As you can see from the last post, self-indulgent as it was, the ‘Original Character DataBase’ has begun. It will take some time for me to catalogue all the awesome entries from the ‘No Disintegrations‘ competition, but the world should see these creative gems from around the globe.

L.U.F.A.S Y'all

L.U.F.A.S Y’all

Keep them coming in, beloved reader, the more the merrier

Email as many characters as you please, following the simple outlines in ‘No disintegrations’. All characters stored in the database will still be eligible for future competitions. They are created on a wonderful web site, the link:

http://www.heromachine.com/heromachine-2-5-character-portrait-creator/

Until next time. Keep Creating

No Disintegrations

This thing is awesome. Sorry, beloved reader, you were probably expecting something enlightening, instructional or just entertaining. But I took a moment from such skullduggery to introduce you to this, and the chance to win a groovy prize. Yay.

Hero Machine 2.5

It does what it says on the tin. You make heroes with it. Made some groovy characters myself, totally losing an evening by doing so, but it made me feel somewhat vindicated. Sweet.

Follow the handy link above and send Level Up your own characters, any kind you like; hero, villain, fantasy, Sci-Fi or even a normal dullard, use your imagination.

Include the character’s name, list of powers / abilities, stats and origin, how they got , a couple of sentences will suffice. It’ll be like our own kinda Top Trumps.

“He’s no good to me dead.”

The best character entry will win this groovy prize! Double Yay.Yes. I know, beloved reader, it is quite the humble prize. However Level Up is still an impoverished company.

The best character entry will win this groovy prize! Double Yay.
Yes. I know, beloved reader, it is quite the humble prize. However Level Up is still an impoverished company.

Behold my own creations!

Devil 6

She is as nasty as she looks. Fear her.

She is as nasty as she looks. Fear her.

Powers / Abilities:  Psychoportation is her greatest power, but it exhausts her each time she employs the gift. Her voice can emit a fear induced paralysis, she can also see in all spectrums of vision. Her tail is prehensile and a direct strike will also cause paralysis. The wings allow only for gliding.

Skills: Extremely handy with chains, wielding them dual weapon style. She is fantastic in the sack.

Statistics: Strength-12, Agility-99, Speed – 99, Endurance – 28, Intelligence – 25, Charisma – 44

Origin: Real name Helena Drake, she wanted to become a famous actress, but ended up doing porn. She was selected for her promiscuity and captured by he Vatican, to be experimented upon. The Vatican’s plan was to create a bunch of devils to prove that hell existed, and thus prove heaven existed to try to get one over on all the atheists.

She was the sixth such victim of catholic barbarism, but they didn’t realise she had developed the ability to teleport at will. After her escape she vowed to destroy the Vatican. Join the club luv.

Lou

Does he look like he gives a flying f**k? Because there are zero f**ks given here.

Does he look like he gives a flying f**k? Because there are zero f**ks given here.

Powers / Abilities: Vince has only one power, he can steal knowledge from others brains by taking some of their grey matter and implanting it in his own barnet. This can  work out for the worst; he can sometimes take on characteristics of his victims for a limited period, sending him a wee bit loopy . But that doesn’t bother him one bit, he’s fairly deranged anyway.

His armour is tougher than Captain America’s shield and Wolverine’s adamantium skeleton combined, and is full of useful gadgets like adrenaline boosters. His right hand is a force field generator that works kinda like the Green Lantern’s ring, but the colour yellow is not his nemesis.

Skills: Brawling, he loves it. It’s his favourite hobby and he is really good at it. I mean really good at it. Also he has a lot of big freakin’ guns. Nuff said.

Statistics: Strength-88, Agility-18, Speed -44, Endurance – 99, Intelligence – 99, Charisma – 29

Origin: Born to the Fisk criminal family, it was obvious to his father that he was a deformity. Born with his brain completely exposed, no nose and no right hand.

The crime lord set about finding all treatments possible in an attempt to make him ‘normal’. Little did Don Fisk realise that Lou had already started using his powers from the age of 11, and was secretly augmenting himself cybernetically.

Rogue Advisor

Last, but surely not least; your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor

Powers / abilities: Little is known about the nefarious and elusive Rogue Advisor. He is somewhat like a cross between Batman and Iron man. All his attributes are the best a human may ever attain. He is a genius able to create powerful items that make Starktech look like Fisher Price crap. His cowl makes him immune to all mind affecting powers, and perfect infravision, and gives him an early warning system ‘spidey sense’.

The rest of his cladding is bullet proof, stab proof, fire-proof and stronger than adamantium, yet supple as leather. He his boots allow him to walk anywhere, despite the surface tension. He has been mistaken for Jesus whilst walking on water, and also misidentified as Spiderman whilst walking up the side of Big Ben.

Skills: He is a master of Martial arts from across the world, an acrobat and skilled in espionage. He can move in complete silence if he wishes. There is no lock he cannot pick and no trap or alarm he cannot disarm. He leaves no trace nor evidence of his movements.

Statistics: Strength-100, Agility-100, Speed – 100, Endurance – 100, Intelligence – 100, Charisma – 100

Origin: Unknown.

Now it’s your turn, beloved reader

Create any type of character you wish with Hero Machine 2.5, then e-mail them to your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor. Competition ends 21st April. The best entry will be blogged for all to admire.

leveluprogueadvisor@gmail.com

Until next time. Stay informed.

The Good the Bad and the Unforgivable

Sorry, beloved reader, the title of this post is somewhat misleading; there is little good involved, apart from maybe laughing your abs into a six-pack at what follows. Here at Level Up our geek glands rage 24/7, whether it be for fantasy, Sci-Fi, RPGs or comics. But whenever there is good, there must be bad. A sad and kind of Taoist truth. Nerdy entertainment does seem to be a metaphorical yin-yang rollercoaster of laughter and tears. Today it’s tears I’m afraid. Your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor has searched high and low for the most terrible, offensive and downright awful. For every Batman or Tony Stark, there’s a Kylun or a Typeface. Prepare to be impressed / unimpressed by characters that had to be created whilst drunk, high or threatened at gunpoint.

Kylun

A crappy Thundercat rip-off with crappy powers.

A crappy Thundercat rip-off with crappy powers.
Essentially he is a humanoid tape-recorder.
How very 80’s.

Once a member of the British mutant team Excalibur and looking like a humanoid lion pretty much explains this blasphemy in printed format. He basically, being rather cat-like, had slightly better strength and agility than most and better senses. His main power wa to be abl to mimic nay sound. That’s it. That’s his angle, that’s what got him in a superhero team that defends the entire UK against super-powered threats. He also had magic swords that could not cause harm to the pure of heart, these lame blades turned up in later comics when the writers realised that he was so very rubbish. Needless to say, even with the new swords, he didn’t last long.

Wraith

You'd think he'd be much groovier with a name like that.

You’d think he’d be much groovier with a name like that.

So, what can this Wraith character do? Can he become ethereal / incorporeal? Is he some sort of demonic other-worldly monster? Maybe even a soul-sucking, hell-born beast to be feared by all mortal men? Nope. Hector Rendoza’s ‘fearsome’ power is to have invisible skin. The X-Men took pity on him after he had been beaten s**tless by some normal, genetically average, humans. In a fight that he started. He nearly died from his wounds, but it was really easy to see if he had eaten that cheesecake you’d been saving in the fridge. He can transfer his transparent epidermisery to other people, making him the only mutant so terrible that his own body is trying to offload the X-gene. There were other characters in the Marvel universe called wraith too, all of them a damn sight more useful. There was John Wraith, he had military training, an extended lifespan and could teleport. There is also Brian DeWolff, known as Wraith, an ex-policeman with psionic powers and then we have Zak-Del Wraith who is immortal and has a gun that can transform into any kind of gun imaginable. Why Marvel? Why did you create Hector Rendoza the kid with invisible skin?

Jihad!

Un-freakin'-believable.

Un-freakin’-believable.

That’s right, beloved reader, freakin’ Jihad. Marvel comics presented us with is genie in a Fantastic Four storyline, where the bright green turbanless behemoth sent them on an item retrieving mystical quest. The character was a little controversial, his first appearance was eleven days before the September 11th attacks, and Jihad was a character bent on world conquest. For reasons I cannot fathom he hasn’t made an appearance since.

Typeface

Unemployment is hard to deal with in the USA apparently. It drives people to use giant lettering as weaponry.

Unemployment is hard to deal with in the USA apparently. It drives people to use giant lettering as weaponry.

The economy is the real villain in this tale. Ex-US Army soldier Gordon Thomas went home to become a sign smith. The American dream. But alas, poor Gordon’s dreams were shattered when he was laid off from his job at ‘Ace Signs’ when a man named George Finch takes over the company. Mr Thomas does what anyone else would do in that situation; he wrote a giant ‘R’ on his forehead, for ‘retribution’, called himself Typeface and went on a rampage with an arsenal of giant letters. The saddest part of this tale is that he actually kicked the crap out of Spiderman. He then changed the ‘R’ on his spam to an ‘A’ for ‘Annihilation’.

Squirrel Girl

She is kinda sexy. Anyone else developing a squirrel fetish?

She is kinda sexy. Anyone else developing a squirrel fetish?

Doreen Green is her name and she can communicate with squirrels. Yup, that’s right beloved reader, once again Marvel comics have subjected us to more lameness. For some reason though, she is extremely accomplished in the area of villain butt-kicking. Teamed up with her squirrel companion Tippy-Toe, she has defeated Doctor Doom, a task that the entire of the Fantastic Four have difficulty with and in another story line the bushy-tailed duo have even defeated Thanos. For those of you who don’t know who Thanos is, please follow the handy link to discover how incredibly powerful and god-like he is. But give credit where credit is due, the Marvel writers had to be pretty creative to pull off those stories.

Hemo-Goblin

hemo-goblin

What can I say about this guy? Really?

It’s DC comics turn to bow their collective heads with shame. This character covers the trendy topics of racism and AIDS in one horrifying package. He is basically a vampire, which generally are powerful enough critters to take on super powered folk. The skinny albino blood sucker was created, laboratory style, by a white supremacist group to rid the world of anyone who wasn’t a honky. This is accomplished by giving them AIDS, which he managed to infect some of the members of the New Guardians with. Thanks DC.

These characters are terrible. How can it possibly get any worse?

Behold!

Armless Tiger Man

Pfft. Ha. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Pfft. Ha. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Yes, beloved reader, we’ve saved the ‘best’ for last. Armless Tiger Man is a man – wait for it – with all the power of an armless tiger. Like our feline chum Kylun, Gustav Hertz has the augmented agility, strength, senses etc. of that great hunting cat, the tiger; but without the baggage of having arms. Who needs the encumbrance of four limbs? Especially prehensile ones. This extremely bipedal chap was a WWII villain who lost his arms whilst working as a machinist. Quite appropriately he then vowed vengeance upon all things industrial. He was eventually caught by the Gestapo who sent him to America to wreak his two limbed, anti-machine hatred.

Until next time. Stay informed.