Designer Superhero workouts Part 3: The Fastest Man Alive Workout

Alongside the Green Lantern, the Flash is kinda unique among the Justice League, in that he only has the one super power.

Superman has pretty much every power going, and as his epic tale continues he’s discovered even more powers, Hawkgirl is super strong and can fly, Martian Manhunter can fly, is super strong, (again), shape shift and read minds.

Batman of course needs no powers, he is and always will be superior to all of them. Just watch the movie ‘Justice League: Doom’ for irrefutable proof.

Even more so than the other extreme hard-core DSW’s, the Flash’s is an extremely intense, high volume and time-consuming regime; you’ll need keen time management skills to fit this regime into your lifestyle.

This borderline insane routine will involve gruelling cardiovascular work, flexibility and resistance training. Now that I’ve either inspired you to rise to the challenge or tell me to get stuffed, I present:

The Fastest Man Alive Workout

I'd be looking smug too if I had the best superpower of all. Your arguments are invalid.

I’d be looking smug too if I had the best superpower of all. Your arguments are invalid.

There will be no hypertrophy work, (that’s not to say you won’t have some hypertrophy, it’s unavoidable), but a lot of fat burning cardio.

The justification for this is to keep the physique as sleek and light as possible; the less weight to move-the faster it will be propelled. Simple.

By the end of the 12 week program you will end up having a sexilly low body fat percentage; probably in the region of a mere 10%, maybe even as low as 7%, (bearing in mind the average body fat percentage here in the UK is 30 to 40%).

This won’t make you look skinny or ‘twiggy’ though, on the contrary, it will enhance the definition of your skeletal muscle. People will be able to use you like a living anatomy chart, and sculptors will want to carve statues in your likeness.

A six-pack is without any shadow of a doubt on the agenda, (or possibly an eight-pack, a rarity dependant upon genetics). That and of course, the attribute that brought you to this article: speed. As per usual, we will have to rely on the ‘best’ instructional videos available on the web, until Level up has its own studio.

The first ever Flash, (not the Barry Allen style workout we use in this post), way back in 1940.  The first Flash was Jay Garrick.

The first appearance of the Flash, (not the Barry Allen we know and love today, (I refuse to base it in Wally West on sheer principle), way back in 1940.
The first Flash was Jay Garrick.
He looked rather daft.

Phase 1: Fat burning, base strength and flexibility – 2 Weeks

But why strength and flexibility training? Aren’t we going for super speed here?

We will be training strength because of the way the different muscle fibre types react to training. Low rep heavy weight training stimulates the Type IIb Glycolytic Fibers. This is already fully covered in the ‘Asgardian Power-House’ workout, it’s worth checking out so that you have a more thorough insight into why the workout is constructed this way.

Also referred to as ‘fast twitch’ fibers, (the name is a bit of  a giveaway to why we will be training them), because they contract with great force against heavy resistance, thereby removing the effort of movement.

Thus, you have on half of the speed equation. By improving flexibility, and thus agility, makes it is easier for a limb to move through it’s designed range of movement.

The easier it is to move through that plane of movement combined with the  ‘fast twitch’ muscle fibers removing the effort against resistance we have the other half of some kind of mutated athletic algebra.

Strength + Agility = Speed

The Flash of the 90's TV series, way to much hypertrophy to be believable.  Plus it was a well cheesy show.

The Flash of the 90’s TV series had way too much hypertrophy to be believable.
Plus it was a well cheesy show.
But Mark Hamill made some groovy guest appearances as the Trickster; a cheap-ass Joker rip-off.

The first part of each day is the toughest; your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor truly sympathises, as he has already endured such rigours and you will need to dig deep for the discipline, but the results are worth it.

As you read further, it will seem very like a very high volume of work, but that’s only in the early stages. Persevere, beloved reader, and everything will fall into a neatly science-filled package of logical athleticism.

Morning Cardio: Cardiovascular exercise first thing in the morning upon awakening and on an empty stomach. It’s the first and only thing you do upon awakening, no morning tea and crumpets, oh no.

It’s tough to find the motivation I know, even now, when your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor engages in such training. but the results are worth the work.

During this time you may consume zero calories; none of those vile, sugar-filled, diabetes instigating ‘sports’ drinks. water will be your only sustenance. The reason for this is glycogen based.

Glycogen is stored carbohydrates, mainly in the liver and the skeletal muscle. Most of the stored carbohydrates have been consumed by metabolic processes during the night whilst asleep as the body goes dutifully about its routine repairs, leaving only the subcutaneous fat to be burned during the morning cardio. Day one will be a 45 minute walk, brisk pace, but just a walk.

During low intensity activity such as this your body will derive its energy from fat rather than carbs anyway, but with no carbs stored up first thing in the morning, this cheeky tactic will ‘trick’ your metabolism, training it to actually want to burn fat more often than carbs. This is the principle of specificity.

Soon, beloved reader, you will be associated with this logo. Enjoy the speed.

Soon, beloved reader, you will be associated with this logo.
Enjoy the speed.

But with all this cheeky metabolic trickery, what happens to our metabolism when we do have carbs?

Never fear, beloved reader, carbs will still be used during high intensity training, as it will always remain the most readily available fuel source.

If you’re not doing any intense work, the carbs will be neatly stored away in the liver, (around ten percent of the liver’s mass is stored glycogen), and in the skeletal muscles, ready for action.

Now for the really hard part, once you’re done you’ll probably be hungry, but alas, the fat burning effect continues for around 90 minutes after the cardio. Thus, take advantage of this extra subcutaneous fat burning bonus and once again, consume naught but water, lots of water, it will make you feel full until you can break your fast.

Straight after the walk after follow the stretching routine outlined in ‘My common Sense is Tingling’. After all that discipline a rejuvenating breakfast is in order; plenty of replenishing carbs, but don’t go over the top with carbs, around 70 grams from quality whole grain sources and because you had no carbs in you to begin with, they will all be stored away, with  none of them converting to fat.

Oatmeal is the best option; add some complementary protein, 3 to 4 scrambled eggs with only half the yolk’s removed, (to reduce the fat content), will provide roughly 24 – 32 grams of high quality protein.

Carb-up after the morning walk, but from quality sources, no cereals though, they will mess with your Glycemic Index.

Carb-up after 90 minutes after the morning walk, but from quality sources, no cereals though, they will mess with your Glycemic Index in negative way, causing fat gain.
Wally West indignantly eats in front of a hungry ape. Dick.

The Resistance Training

Perform these workouts three times week; preferably Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings to allow recovery from the morning’s exertions and giving you the weekend away to rest from the gym but not the cardio.

All exercises a 4 sets of 6 reps, unless otherwise specified. Without extremely comprehensive home gym equipment, you will have to endure that sweaty dungeon permeated with man foam and twats known as a gym. About an hour before resistance training get a nice 30 grams of protein and 70 grams of carbs meal in you.

Some people find that they feel sick working out after solid food, if that’s the case for you, then try a high carb whey protein shake, they absorb quickly and won’t have you puking in the gym.

I dare you to go into the gym wearing this.

I dare you to go into the gym wearing this.

Lunges with split jump: The technique is quite difficult, perform a few sets to get used to it, then grab hold of some dumbbells, as heavy a weight as you can handle but with perfect form hitting each leg for six reps, that’s the amount of reps required to stimulate strength. Be sure to check your ceiling is high enough before doing this tricky exercise if you are training at home.

Standing leg curl: You’ve just blasted the front of your legs, it’s only fair to blast the back.

Alternate high cable crossovers: When sprinting, the body should be at a 5 degree forward angle. Thus, when the arms move forward, it’s the upper pectorals and anterior deltoids that are doing the work, and that’s what this exercise targets. They also give you a mean hook punch. Bonus.

Single arm cable rows: Just as when the arms go forward torso muscles, different torso muscles pull them back, now we hit the lats.

Alternating front dumbbell raises: Use the instructors preferred method of alternating the movement. Once again ‘sports specific’.

Bent over dumbbell laterals: You just hit that all important anterior deltoid for bringing the arm forward in the last exercise, now we hit the posterior deltoid for bringing the arm back. The lateral head of the deltoid would have got plenty of work from both these shoulder exercises.

Dumbbell side curls: The Purpose of this maneuver is to strengthen the outer head of the biceps, which are responsible for bending the elbow, (the larger inner head of the biceps only bends the elbow when the hand is fully supinated), and will facilitate and stabilize proper arm positioning during running.

Dumbbell kickbacks: The reverse movement of the arm when running, generates plyometric style power for the forward movement, thus dumbbell kick backs are the most ‘sports specific’ for our purposes.

Captain’s chair knee raises: Kinesiology, being the enigmatic mistress that she is, plays tricks with us. When most limbs move dynamically, hardly any of the muscles in it are being used. Whilst raising the knee vertically, it’s the abdominals that take the strain; so for a broader sprint stride, these are the perfect exercise. This is the one exception to the sets and reps rules, stick with 4 sets but aim for 12 to 15 reps, abs are durable and dense, they need an extra pounding.

Standing calf Raise: To add extra ‘spring’ to each sprinting stride, you’ll need decent calves, plus if you want a well-rounded physique you’ll want to be doing these.

Try to keep the ‘rest’ periods between sets to a mere 45 seconds, and definitely no longer than a minute. Once you’re done with that it’s immediately onto the stretching again.

Phase 2: Interval training, strength and more flexibility – 2 Weeks

We up the ante now by including LIIT, (Light Intensity Interval Training). Interval training is a type of discontinuous exercise that involves a series of low to high-intensity periods interspersed with ‘relief ‘periods. The high-intensity periods are typically at or close to anaerobic exercise, while the recovery periods may involve either complete rest or activity of lower intensity.

Morning Cardio: Sorry, beloved reader, that morning struggle for discipline just got tougher. I’m not really endorsing this workout am I. You still have to go straight out for a 45 minute walk first thing in the morning, but now you’ll be adding some slightly higher intensity at regular intervals, by jogging every 5th minute. Keep it at a jogging pace only though, the sprints come later.

Soon, beloved reader, you will have the 'i'm going freakin' fast' blur lines following you.

Soon, beloved reader, you will have the ‘i’m going freakin’ fast’ blur lines following you.

Then continue to build the jogging part each day. On day two walk for three minutes then jog for 2 and so on. By day 9 of this two-week block you should be up and out of bed and doing a full on 45 minute jog.

This once again ‘tricks’ your metabolism, but now into wanting to burn fat at higher intensities. If you had been jogging 45 minutes at the start of the workout, your metabolism would have had a panic attack and started breaking down muscle tissue for the liver to convert into carbs, keeping the body desiring glucose instead of fat for energy.

The Resistance Training: Breath a sigh of relief, beloved reader. Nothing changes with the resistance training until phase 3. Just keep trying to increase the weight.

Phase 3: Interval training, strength / endurance blending and of course flexibility – 4 Weeks

Morning Cardio: Now we up the ante once again: sprints. You don’t need to do this first thing in the morning anymore, but wait at least an hour after breakfast before going berserker at it.

It’s now reduced to 30 minutes. Because of the intensity of this phase’s cardio, you’ll only be doing it three times a week in between resistance training days. No longer do we flirt with flimsy old LIIT training, now you’re going for HIIT, you guessed it, High Intensity Interval training. Begin by just jogging 5 minutes for a warm-up, during the next 30 minutes continue jogging but convert every 5th minute into an all-out-give-it-everything-you’ve-got sprint.

This is what I mean by

This is what I mean by an all-out-give-it-everything-you’ve-got sprint.

Each day add 15 seconds to the sprinting section until you reach a 2/3 ratio of jogging / sprinting respectively. Don’t convert any of the last 10 minutes to sprints, just jog to cool off from the extreme intensity of the  workout, jog pleasantly for 5 minutes after the last sprint to cool down, then get down to your beloved stretching routine. However, sports science dictates there is actually a perfect sprinting technique. Follow the advice below.

Resistance Training

Now we get down to some wonderful supersets, these are explained more fully in the Spider Man DSW. We will be mainly engaging in opposing muscle group supersets.

This is when you do two exercises that target opposing muscle groups, one muscle gets to rest while the opposite muscle works. You can pair back and chest, biceps and triceps, hamstrings and quadriceps, etc. Now because you’ll be doing 2 exercises back to back, your ‘tricking’ your skeletal  muscles again.

Each exercise will still be 6 reps but by moving straight on to the next one, you’ll actually be doing 12 reps, the range required for muscular endurance. Thus we have the skeletal muscles contracting fast and strong, and also over an extended period. Your workout will look like this:

Lunges with split jump / Standing leg curl

Alternate high cable crossovers / Single arm cable rows

Alternating front dumbbell raises / Bent over dumbbell laterals

Dumbbell side curls / Dumbbell kickbacks

Captain’s chair knee raises / Standing calf Raise

The last superset is the exception to the ‘rule’, utilising staggered supersets, by doing this your body will adapt to lifting the knee of the front leg high and rapidly, whilst the calf adds ‘spring’ for propulsion from the rear leg. Then you know the drill: stretching. You love it.

This will make the workout shorter but way more intense, but should last only thirty minutes so get a high protein, high carb meal in straight after stretching; aim for 40 grams of protein and 90 grams of carbs for maximum recovery.

Make sure you get proper rest and nutrition, especially with the last 4 weeks high intensity workouts. Get 4 to 5 meals a day, around 25 to 30 grams of protein and roughly twice that in carbs, ensure all meals are at least three hours apart so that the liver can effectively deal with the nutrients. Get as much sleep as possible too, minimum 7 hours per night, 9 if possible.

Make sure you get proper rest and nutrition, especially with the last 4 weeks high intensity workouts.
Get 4 to 5 meals a day, around 25 to 30 grams of protein and roughly twice that in carbs, ensure all meals are at least three hours apart so that the liver can effectively deal with the nutrients. Get as much sleep as possible too, minimum 7 hours per night, 9 if possible.

So what’s next?

That’s the whole 12 weeks. By the end of it you will be strong, durable and flexible and of course, freakin’ fast.

The last phase is the ultimate phase, just continue with the last phase for as long as you like and if you get bored with the exercises and the exercise order, you can substitute them for others that work the same group of muscles. If you want to improve sprinting even further, invest in some ankle and wrist weights, by the time you take them off you’ll make Usain Bolt look like he’s made of lead, trying to run through swamp land with the Juggernaut pushing him backwards.

Or for a massive Wally West sized ego boost, enter some sporting events. Performing this routine will leave all others in your dust in short and long distance sprints. More Flash.

Stay tuned for more.

Until next time. Stay informed.

Designer Superhero workouts Part 2: Asgardian Power-House

After the last instalment of designer superhero workouts, this one seems like a walk in the park. Just minus the walking. And maybe even the park. There will be no cardio in this one. Just iron. Lots of gorgeous iron.

Many have tried to bring a definitive Thor based workout to the masses when the first Thor movie was released, but failed miserably, because they are those same harbingers of falsehoods and fitness myths that I find myself battling in literary format 24/7. That is unless I can actually get my mitts on ’em. Then its red to the elbow o’clock.

I rest my well-informed case. That is just begging for an injury.

I rest my well-informed case. That is just begging for an injury.
Worse yet, the ‘personal trainer’ will have some bull-s**t justification for this ‘Final Destination’ style death waiting to happen. You’d be safer eating a bowl of corn flakes filled with claymore mines.

It has been attempted by bodybuilding.com, behindtheworkout com, muscleandbrawn.com, and even Men’s ‘Health’ magazine. Only on the extremely rare occasion these sites / publications have some decent information; these particular articles in question was farcical.

None of the above clearly have any understanding of the biology, kinesiology or any of the myriad concepts that influence the complex machine that is the human being to stimulate attribute improvement.

I can, without doubt beloved reader, having spoken to no one that has tried these so-called workout plans, be sure that they didn’t get the results they were looking for. They may have got some results, but nowhere near as constructive as a truly well-informed, anatomically and plan adhering to the fine science of kinesiology.

The biggest problem we face with these articles, is that the majority of the writers of them are merely familiar with exercise equipment and seemingly completely lacking any  understanding of anatomy, apart from a vague awareness of humanoid form. Taking advice from these ill-informed cretins is akin to asking a bus driver how to perform brain surgery.

Now that I’ve just made a bunch of enemies within the fitness and fitness magazine industries; (imagine thunder and lightning whilst reading this please), your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor presents:

The Asgardian Power-House Workout

Majestic, powerful a freakin' deity for crying out loud. Who wouldn't want such power.

Majestic, powerful and a freakin’ demigod for crying out loud.
Who wouldn’t want such power?

This periodized program like the other designer Superhero workout plans will be a 12 week  fast-track, hard-core plan. But will have an extra week post-main plan, as a kind of ‘warm-up’ week. The power work involved is extremely intense business and if strict form and perfect technique is not adhered to may lead to injury. Therefore, this ‘warm-up’ week is to ensure that you, beloved reader, do not get injured.

Remember, beloved reader, this series of workouts are for the truly hard-core among us, those who will let nothing stand between them and god-like power.

No chance Super-ham, it's an Excalibur situation.

No chance Super-ham, it’s an Excalibur situation.

Unlike the extremely complex Spiderman workout, which would have required either a gym, (EEK), membership or very comprehensive and expensive set of home workout equipment. The Thor workout is can be done at home away from all those sweaty-know-it-all-gym-rats. This is all free weights, as primal as it gets; picking up huge items made of cast iron and showing them who’s the boss. Like a boss. An Asgardian boss.

If you haven’t done so already, please read ‘Designer Superhero Workout Basics‘. Without further delay, let’s get you, beloved reader, uncompromisingly strong.

As these exercises require perfect technique; your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor has used his valuable and very limited online storage space to provide you with the best instructional videos I could find, as well as some handy links. Be sure to absorb the videos safety and exercise technique information only; the rest is superfluous.

That is until Level Up has its own studio. Then yours truly will be providing you with bullet proof instructional videos. Yay.

Week 1: Foundation techniques

This week takes the full workout plan of phase 1 of this periodized program, and breaks it down into only one of the exercises per day. Start mega-light, just the barbell with no added resistance to begin with.

When you become comfortable with the technique itself; slowly, gradually bring the resistance up. I would suggest at no more than 2.5 kg  increases per set, if not even smaller increments.

Do as many sets as possible to get the muscles used to contracting in that manner. It’s a strange kinesiological fact, but muscles seem to have the need to ‘learn’. You have the whole workout to master one single exercise each day of this week. This also adds the advantage of having a pretty good idea how much weight you’ll be lifting before you begin the routine proper.

Perform 5 repetitions each time, rest about a minute before the next set. This is a cheeky tactic invented by the legendary Reg Park .

Legendary body-builder Reg Park ha the ideal Superhero physique.

Legendary body-builder Reg Park had the ideal Superhero physique.

Squats

The following is some of the best squatting technique advice I’ve had the pleasure to encounter. It is also your first opponent on the path to Asgardian might. Also known as Monday. That’s it. The first day of ‘warm-up’ week is squats, squats, squats and then more squats. Enjoy.

Dead-lifts

This will be Tuesday’s workout, dead-lifting. Called by some the ‘king of lifts’ because they work almost every muscle in your body.

I could happily watch her dead-lift all day. Also she is a shining example that women doing weights, does not produce this:

Please don't kill me, please don't kill me, please don't kill me, please don't kill me.

Please don’t kill me, please don’t kill me, please don’t kill me, please don’t kill me.

Bent-over barbell rows

A tricky exercise to maintain proper form on, but if perfected, one of the most effective techniques to get the latissimus dorsi pumped up. I’m pretty sure you’ve figured out by now that this is the only move on the agenda for Thursday.

By now, if you are going to the gym for these training sessions you may find the meat-head, jocks and gym-rats are probably gonna give you weird looks, ignore them, they should be concentrating on their own workouts.

If they are staring because they don’t understand what you’re doing, then that just demonstrates their lack of fitness knowledge. Even worse; these malefic perpetrators of misinformation may try to give you ‘advice’. Politely decline, preferably with a wry smirk upon your face that tells them “I know something you don’t know.” Ignore them.

This movement will produce that Superhero ‘V’ shape so desired by many.

Military press

Friday is here. Yay. Half day at work for most of you Londoners, so extra fuel in the tank for the splendid exercise known as the military press. Bet you can’t guess how it got named,eh?

This will blast the deltoids extremely hard, so just as with all the exercises before begin with just the barbell, to get used to the technique, perform 5 repetitions, rest one minute, add a little resistance and have at it again.

Now that's what you call a military press y'all. Soon, beloved reader, soon you shall know the strength of Asgard.

Now that’s what you call a military press y’all. Soon, beloved reader, soon you shall know the strength of Asgard.

Phase 1: Power – 3 weeks

This phase will only last 3 weeks, because it’s so very intense. However, you will be doing all 5 of the above power moves in one gruelling session.

All exercises should be as heavy as possible but with perfect form, 5 sets of 5 repetitions on each of them. We want limit your ‘rest’ periods between sets to no more than a minute, this will be difficult at first, so begin with two minutes, then take 15 seconds less ‘rest’ between sets with each new training session. It’s gonna be tough. But it’s gonna be worth it.

Do the things that others wont today, so that you can do the things others can’t tomorrow.

Chris Hemsworth, proves my well-informed point. Just look at those luscious pecs.

Chris Hemsworth, proves my well-informed point.
Just look at those luscious pecs.

The workout: 5 sets of 5 reps

Squats

Dead-lifts

Bench press

Bent-over barbell rows

Military press

Perform the workouts 3 times a week, preferably Monday, Wednesday and Friday, giving you 2 days to recover, plus you have the weekend off. After such brutal training week 2 days of rest will be required, get plenty of extra sleep.

Or if you can’t schedule it like that, then arrange the training pattern so that you can get 2 full days rest, but never perform the workouts on consecutive days, you will be overworking the muscles causing atrophy, ,also inviting injury and that is detrimental to our quest to god-like Asgardian strength.

"Come at me bro."

“Come at me bro.”

Phase 2: Hypertrophy – 3 weeks

This section of the periodized program will be a 3-way body-part split, utilising only compound movements, (exercises where multiple joints move, therefore more muscle fibres recruited, and more hypertrophy), wherever possible. Once again try to schedule these workouts for Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and plan for a 2 day rest period during the week.

If possible always workout in the morning when testosterone levels are at their highest, it makes you primal. 4 set of 8 reps for all exercises involved. No exceptions. This is the perfect rep range due to the different muscle fibre types within skeletal muscle. Allow you friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor to blow your Asgardian brain with Earth science.

By Odin’s beard! What is this Earth ‘science’ you speak of?

There it is, the mighty Odin's beard.  Envy it.

There it is, the mighty Odin’s beard.
Envy it.

Type I Fibres: Also called slow twitch fibres or oxidative fibres. They have the largest capillary count, many mitochondria, and heaps of myoglobin giving them a red colouration. These muscle fibres are geared toward endurance, very resistant to fatigue and able to contract continuously over an extended period of time and generating adenosine triphosphate by oxidative, (aerobic), metabolism. Therefore they are stimulated by high rep ranges, around 10 to 15 reps, even more reps, 15 to 25 for advanced endurance athletes.

Type II Fibres: They can be split into a further 2 categories.

Type IIb Fibres: We’ll cover IIb first, because type IIa are a relatively recent discovery. Also known as fast twitch or glycolytic fibres,   type IIb have a lower myoglobin and capillary count giving them a white, (looks like chicken meat), colouration. This allows for high contraction velocity, gearing them toward anaerobic metabolism, making them effective for short yet more intense workouts. They are generally stimulated by a rep range of 1 – 6.

Type IIa Fibres: These are adaptive muscle fibres, strange as it sounds. They adapt to whichever type of work the other fibre types are doing. So when the fast twitch fibres are doing their thing, they start going glycolytic and when the slow twitch are doing their thing, they start going oxidative. They look pink due to the combination of oxidative and glycolytic capabilities. Most people don’t have many of these fibres; a shame given their properties.

Thus, 8 reps per set hits a nice mid-range, stimulating all fibre types, and any type IIa will adapt to both kinds of input.

Temporary X-ray vision for y'all.

Temporary X-ray vision for y’all.

Adenosine Triphosphate? Speak sense foolish mortal.

Adenosine triphosphate: (ATP from now on), is considered by biologists to be the ‘currency of life’. ATP, a nucleotide, powers cellular metabolism, and is present in the cytoplasm and nucleoplasm of every cell. The structure of ATP is an ordered compound of three phosphates, connected to each other by oxygens and sandwiched on either side by more oxygens.

These oxygens each have a negative charge, so their just itching to get away from each other. Because of this ATP is just bursting with energy, about 7.3 calories per mole, (30.6 kj/mol), and is a lot happier as a molecule when it has only two phosphate bonds.

Whenever we make any physical movement, an appropriate amount of these little guys, all little ticking time bombs of energy, are more than happy to shoot of one of the phosphate bonds and power up cellular metabolism. Sweet. However, once it has shot one of the bonds it becomes a redundant compound, adenosine diphosphate, (ADP), and goes into a little mood having no desire to create any more energy. Each gram of skeletal muscle has around 7 – 8 mol of ATP stored ready to go, then once it’s fired its load creatine phosphate comes to the rescue. Yay.

That's what our dear ATP looks like.

That’s what our dear ATP looks like.

Now you have been suitably scienced

Day 1: Pectoralis major, triceps, calves

Incline dumbbell bench press:Now we are fully hitting every muscle at every angle  rather than building all-round power, thus adding slabs of mighty beef-cakery all over the show, this fine exercise targets the clavicular fibres of the pecs.

Bench press: You should be very familiar with this one by now. Level up your strength beloved reader.

Skull crushers: A wondrous name for a wondrous technique that suits our hammer wielding subject perfectly. These will not only hit the triceps nicely, but are a ‘sports specific‘ movement for carrying out devastating hammer attacks upon those foolish enough to mess with Asgard.

It was difficult to find a decent instructional for this one, but fear not, beloved reader, after searching the strange realm you mortals call the internet, we have a marvel of your ‘Earth science’ to show you the ways of augmenting hammer based attacks. Preferably aimed at the skull. Then crushing said skull.

Close-grip bench press: You have to be careful with hand positioning on this exercise, otherwise you’ll just be repeating unnecessarily the normal bench press again.

The focus of close-grip bench press is to blast the triceps into a hypertrophic frenzy, adding solid combat ready muscle with which to wield a hammer, or any bludgeon of your own choosing for that matter.


Standing calf raises: This will act as a kind of ‘cool down ‘after all that extremely heavy iron shifting. But if done properly you will have trouble walking temporarily.

Day 2: Latissimus dorsi, biceps, Abs

Bent-over barbell rows: You’ve done tons of theses bad-boys. Nuff said.

Bent-over dumbbell rows: This initially seems like a move that will produce similar results to the above, but whilst it still works the latissimus dorsi, it also works: lower and mid-trapezius, rhomboids, teres major, teres minor, and infraspinatus. The supination, pronation or neutral grip positioning will change the targeted muscles quite dramatically.


Preacher hammer curls: Yes! That is the actual name of the excise, how cool is that, and it’s relevant to our program. Get hammering my Asgardian chums.

Barbell curls: Finishing off the biceps in a brutal way, by the end of this hypertrophic phase you will be able to display a fine ‘gun show’.

Vertical bench leg raise: These will produce abs that you could be seen through a skiing jacket. As an added bonus the instructor is hot. Yay.

Day 3: Legs, shoulders, forearms

Squats: Monday on ‘warm-up’ week made you very aware of these quadricep builders of doom.

Walking Dumbbell Lunges: To truly promote hypertrophy in such a massive muscle group as quadriceps, we need at least 2 compound movements to make them powerful. This is another ‘sport specific’ exercise that will have you charging at alarming speeds toward your enemy upon the battlefield.

Stiff legged dead-lifts: This variation on the deadlift, (kinda like ‘diet dead-lifts’), will not only keep your body prepared for another power phase, (Yup, there’ll be another), but work the hamstrings in an isometric manner, not only causing muscular strength gains, but building a formidable lower body stability. Ice hockey players utilise this exercise to make their stance solid and steadfast upon the ice.

Arnold press: A great exercise for the anterior and lateral heads of the deltoids. They also add punching power for when you’ve thrown your hammer and are waiting for it to return to your hand to punish the enemies of Asgard.

Behind the neck press: The sibling exercise to military press, now you have these training techniques under your belt, you’ll have no problem lifting opponents over-head and hurling them to land in a crumpled and defeated heap of broken flesh and bone, whilst waiting for that pesky hammer you’re still waiting to return.

Dumbbell shrugs: These slight and mild mannered in appearance dumbbell shrugs are vital at this point, a lot of the exercises in this routine have only worked them synergistically, or worked only 1 or 2 parts of the 3 sectioned muscle. Shrugs target the meaty part at the top of the shoulders. Kinesiologically, they are working whenever you are bearing weight in your hands in order to support the shoulder girdle.

Forearm curls: All Asgardian warriors need a firm grip on their weapon of choice, (preferably hammer of course), and this exercise will round off your physique nicely. If you’ve got massive biceps and triceps but skinny forearms, a warrior you will not look like. There are 2 variations of this technique demonstrated below, pick whichever feels right to you.

I think that's Thor's way of saying "Don't quit". Or he just wants to go ballistic bludgeon style.

I think that’s Thor’s way of saying “Don’t quit”.
Or maybe he just wants to go ballistic bludgeon style.

So what’s next?

Simple. Repeat the power phase again, (but obviously without the extra ‘warmup’ week), you’ll notice a massive increase in strength. Then repeat the hypertrophy phase.

That’s the whole 12 weeks. By the end of it you will be buff and strong, and with the nice weather here in good old blighty, plenty of opportunity to get your top off and make others feel ashamed of their laziness.

If you get bored with the exercises and the exercise order, you can substitute them for others that work a similar group of muscles, and even re-arrange the 3-way hypertrophy split. For example, you could substitute seated cable rows for one arm dumbbell rows, preacher barbell curls instead of barbell curls, or even body-weight dips in place of skull crushers.

You could rearrange the body-part split per workout thus:

Day 1: Legs, triceps, abs, Day 2: Lats, shoulders,  forearms, Day 3:Pecs, biceps, calves.

Unfortunately, due to our strict mistress kinesiology, the power phase is unchangeable. Sorry, beloved reader.

Diet

This is the complicated part. But without decent nutrition, the workouts will not be as effectual and you won’t recover properly from all your hard work. Diet is 80% of the battle.

Try to eat every 3 hours, to keep the metabolism boosted and a steady stream of nutrients coming in to help you recover from the workouts. It’s possible to get away with eating every 5 hours, but 3 hours between protein ‘fixes’ will give you optimum protein synthesis, thus yielding the fastest results.

I know this is tricky to do, and for those of us on a limited finances difficult to afford, but with a little imagination and efficient budgeting it can be done; your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor also suffers these conditions, but it is still attainable.

Get your protein from high quality sources: eggs, milk, fish, beef, chicken, and for those of us, like yours truly, with those horrifying afflictions known as employment, protein shakes and protein bars. There are some very reasonably priced protein supplements around for the convenience of maintaining good nitrogen balance. GNC and Holland and Barrett are constantly having guerilla warfare style sales wars, so keep checking them out.

You’ll also want good quality sources of carbs, wholemeal versions of baked products, oatmeal, pasta, (make sure it’s cooked Al dente), and nothing with processed sugar. But you knew that already. Right?

This is the only diet plan on Level Up thus far that has fat restrictions in the diet. Get your sources of dietary fat from quality foods such a fish, nuts and seeds. No saturated fats. Also the little things help, use cooking spray when you fry food, use low fat spreads, fat-free milk etc.

Count the Macro-nutrients

It seems like a major hassle to begin with, but check the nutritional stats of every meal you eat. Eventually you’ll get so used to it, you’ll be able to approximate and / or guesstimate how much is in what food.

Protein: This is the chief nutrient for building strength and power. Protein’s crucial role in the body includes building, maintaining and repairing body tissue. It is especially important to physically active individuals whose muscle tissue is constantly in need of repair.

Protein has other roles in the body; all enzymes and hormones, which perform vital functions, are proteins. In addition, proteins are used to aid in the immune process. But the liver can only handle so much in one sitting. It is widely debated what the actual number of grams of protein it can effectively deal with; speculations range from 32 to 48 grams. For the purposes of maximizing muscle gains but limiting gluconeogenesis, (there will be plenty of glucose knocking around already), You should aim for hitting 40 grams of quality per meal and hopefully managing that at least five to six meals each day with a minimum of three hours between each  protein fix.

Protein is made of amino acids. Ain't it pretty.

Protein is made of amino acids. Ain’t it pretty.

Carbohydrates: Our main source of energy. They are chains of small, simple sugars that are broken down and enter the body as glucose. Glucose is essential for the body, as it is the preferred source of energy in our brain, heart and central nervous system. For this reason, we won’t be doing anything silly to maintain rippage like Atkins’ diet. Atkins’ had a reasonable idea, but neglected to mention that without glucose from carbs in  your diet to metabolize fat, muscle tissue would be broken down and converted into sugar for that very purpose, defeating the object entirely. Aim for roughly the same amount of carbs as you do with protein. With the exception of doubling the carbs 1 hour before and one hour after a training session. The trick with carbs and getting buff is to keep the Glycemic Index low.

Fat: The misconception about fat is that it is always bad for you. In fact, fat is essential for maintaining a healthy body and is a vital metabolic precursor to various steroid hormones. The trick is to eat a moderate amount of the good fats and none of the bad fats. Saturated and trans fats must be avoided while increases levels essential fatty acids, such as omega 3 and omega 6.

Going out of the realms of macro-nutrients and into micro-nutrients briefly; fat plays a vital role in the digestion of vitamins A, D, E, and K, which are fat soluble, meaning they need fat in order to be absorbed into the body. So don’t completely remove all fats from your diet.

Supplements

Not essential, and also another budget concern. Your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor wouldn’t normal suggest spending your hard-earned / hard-embezzled cash on such things, but the following 2 supplements truly are the real deal, and will add great gains on the path to Asgardian glory.

Creatine phosphate: imaginatively named, eh? Remember ATP? Creatine phosphate, (CP), turns up and ‘lends’ ADP its one and only phosphate, restarting the whole cycle again. There is roughly 3.5 and 4 grams of CP stored per kilogram of skeletal muscle, but this is used up in a matter of seconds during intense physical exertion. By supplementing CP, you can get an extra few seconds of oomph when pounding the iron. It doesn’t sound like much on paper but it makes a massive difference to anaerobic metabolism. Supplemented CP must be cycled, however, as with everything the body produces itself, if it is coming in artificially it will cease its own production. EEK.

The optimum cycle of CP supplementation is 9 weeks on and 3 weeks off. Powdered form is the best absorbed into the skeletal muscles. Remember to look out for the health food store sales.

Glutamine: Basically, whenever your body needs to make a repair, glutamine is the prime amino acid it goes to for most chores. When any part of your body needs healing, say from a cut, recovery from a hangover, sleep deprivation, and especially hard training regimes; its glutamine that gets taken straight from the muscles, reducing strength, unless there is some spare via supplementation. Glutamine is almost essential, it will have you regenerating like Wolverine. Sweet.

He speaks truthfully. Vote, beloved reader, for the next designer Superhero workout.

He speaks truthfully. Vote, beloved reader, for the next designer Superhero workout.

That’s right, beloved reader, I want you to leave a comment on this post, email me or post on Level Up’s Facebook page, which designer Superhero workout you want to see next. Bring it on, y’all.

Stay tuned for more.

Until next time. Stay informed.