The Danger Zone

The Easter holidays have been and gone, and a good portion of my beloved readers are more than likely still nursing a hangover and then some.

Your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor knows that you may well be feeling a little photosensitive about now, and truly sympathises, been there, done it before and more than likely enough times to have cirrhosis  hedonistic characters do not abstain, and have no valid argument to deny themselves ethanol based pleasures.

I’m not posting here today to say, “booze is evil”, or “don’t drink ever if you want to be a bad-ass”, that would be hypocritical. Most of us indulge, at least at the weekends and / or functions, weddings, birthdays  celebration or a promotion. Before I get a wee bit sciency on the effects of booze-ahol; a word from our sponsors.


Within our wonderful boozy beverages of choice are many ingredients, but we will focus on the one that elicits that glorious and much sought after drunken effect.

Ethanol

The true face of our cruel mistress.

The true face of our cruel mistress.

Madam Ethanol is a psychoactive drug and one of the oldest recreational compounds in the realms. She is best known as alcohol; found in our tipples and the vicar’s tea. It is also used as a solvent, a fuel source and also used in thermometers. Feel informed.

She is a central nervous system depressant who flirts outrageously with our vulnerable cell membranes, which are highly permeable to her nefarious charms. This means that once we have begun to fraternize with her and she is in our bloodstream, she can diffuse into nearly every biological tissue of the body. Invasive tart that she is. A concentration of a mere 0.40% of said strumpet in the bloodstream is enough to put you in the danger zone, i.e. enough to kill.

Being female she will also pump you full of oestrogen. Meaning that guys will have a worse hangover than girls, and elevated levels of oestrogen will tear down hard-earned muscle mass. EEK.

Thanks for being a total buzz kill Rogue Advisor, where are you going with this?

The one man that cannot be affected by Madam Booze.

Wolverine. The one man who cannot be affected by Madam Booze.

The Remedy

Did you think I would prattle on about the ‘evils’ of recreational drugs, when you are probably envisioning your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor typing one-handed, whilst heartily swigging from a bottle of Captain Morgan with the other mitt. Nope. The moral of this story is not one of abstinence, but one of dealing with the aftermath.

Congeners: During your boozy session, choose your tipple wisely. Congeners are by-products of fermentation, added for taste and appearance. Drinks that are mostly ethanol, like gin and vodka, contain fewer of these congener rascals and thus will give you a slightly more manageable hangover. And for those of us looking to keep the fat at bay, spirits are the way to go.

Beers, ales, stouts etc. all have calories from other sources, and when your liver is having a panic attack dealing with all the ethanol, the other nutrients will be backed up in a sort of queue. The liver will prioritize what is processed first; the toxins, and everything that’s backed up in the queue will be stored as fat when the pancreas has its own panic attack, releasing a bunch of fat storing insulin.

Watch out for the Ginstealers.

Watch out for the Ginstealers.
If you can get them to run after Gin Master Ingrey, you’ll be able to abscond, with your precious gin. Yay.

Vitamin B complex: A cheeky tactic overlooked by our hedonistic kind. Take vitamin B complex before drinking, it will help your poor pickled liver to break down the ethanol.

Hair of the dog: The classic, the preferred choice by many, but unfortunately doesn’t work. You’re just getting drunk again. If you don’t have work, school, training or any of those other terrors that we call responsibilities, then a Bloody Mary breakfast is just fine. But if you’re looking to feel ‘normal’ again then move along.

Water: This one can’t be stressed enough. Especially for the majority of Level Up’s beloved readers who are looking for athletic gains, water is the head honcho. Drink as much as possible, mix it with some orange squash to get a vitamin C boost too.

Caffeine: This is the one. This actually makes you feel better, but it also dehydrates you. If you want to get back in the sober game, take this stuff.

But why not regular coffee, surely that will suffice?

The chemical compound in coffee, actually limits the caffeine uptake. For the correct recover boost, you want it in the extracted format. Believe your Rogue Advisor, it works. It also makes a very nice pre-workout training boost.

DO NOT take as suggested on the labelling.

DO NOT take as suggested on the labelling.

Level Up never wants you to waste your hard-earned / hard-stolen cash on supplements, and it does kind of look like I’m plugging a product for a company. I’m not. GNC’s super shaper formula is intended for slimming, but that’s not why we want it. Check out the nutritional facts here. It’s not that expensive, and it contains the perfect amount of caffeine along with wonderful L-Tyrosine.

L-Tyrosine is a non-essential amino acid that plays an important role in the production of neurotransmitters dopamine and norepinephrine. In addition, because L-Tyrosine is necessary for the synthesis of thyroid hormone and epinephrine (adrenaline), L-Tyrosine supports healthy glandular function and stress response, all of which are in dire need of a boost after being dulled by booze.

You will need to drink even more water though to combat the extra dehydration from the caffeine.

And for those of you who did more than just drink

5HTPThis stuff isn’t too expensive either, you can pick it up in most health food stores. It replenishes serotonin levels. For those of you that enjoy recreational compounds of a more larcenous nature, you will know that serotonin imbalance causes those come-down blues. Nuff said.

Until next time. Stay informed.

OCDB: Street Fighter – Old Man Tang

On May 14th  your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor set the task to create an original Street Fighter Character to win a rather humble prize.

Using the awesome Hero Machine 2.5 you, beloved reader, had the challenge to create a unique awesome character. I present the 5th runner-up.

Old Man Tang

Old Man Tang by Orest Chekansky, Minsc, Russia.

Old Man Tang by Orest Chekansky, Minsc, Russia.

Special Moves

Drunken dodge: press down twice; the old drunken master falls flat on his back, ducking under most attacks, he takes a second to recover, leaving him vulnerable.

Staggering charge: Down, forward down, forward; the charge causes minor damage but puts Master Tang on the other side of his opponent.

I’m not that old; Hold back one second then release forward – Tang spins his staff through the air at his opponent, but it has limited range and may just drop on the arena floor.

Have a drink on me: Press down, forward down, then forward – he proceeds to sup from his wine flask and then proceeds to spit it in his adversary’s face, stunning them, this gives him a chance to get close for his next move.

The drunken coup de grace; If he can get close enough, he can grab with light and middle punches, after which he somersaults over his opponent, and then proceeds to strangle them with the cord on his wine flask, whilst drinking out of it.

Until next time. Keep creating.